The best of it, roughly ranked
Walk the callejones (free, half a day if you let it run)
The single best thing here costs nothing. Climb the alleys and staircases off the Jardin de la Union with no route in mind, come out somewhere with a view, and let the layered city assemble itself as you go. Morning light on the colored facades is the payoff. This is the one non-negotiable, and it is where you understand why the town looks the way it does.
Funicular up to El Pipila (about 20 minutes plus lingering)
A short cable ride from behind the Teatro Juarez lifts you to the giant statue of El Pipila and the classic overlook of the whole ravine of stacked houses. Go for sunset when the valley turns gold, or early to beat the crowds. You can walk up the staircases instead if your legs are willing, roughly 20 minutes of climbing, and ride back down.
A callejoneada (about 1 to 1.5 hours, evening)
The nighttime alley walk led by estudiantina singers in medieval capes, with a donkey, songs and a bota of wine passed around. It looks touristy written down but it is genuinely fun and full of locals and students, not just visitors. Groups gather near the Jardin de la Union or the Teatro Juarez in the early evening. Do it once; it is one of the nightlife rituals that actually delivers.
Teatro Juarez (about 30 to 45 minutes)
Even with no show on, the theater’s gilded, Moorish-lined interior is worth the small entry, and its columned steps anchor the Jardin. Duck in during the day when the auditorium is open to visitors.
Mercado Hidalgo (about an hour, plus a meal)
The 1910 cast-iron market hall is for eating and browsing more than serious shopping. Photograph the ironwork, then eat at the fondas away from the main entrance where the students go. Covered in more depth in food.
Do it if it’s your thing
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Museo de las Momias (the mummy museum, about 45 minutes). The city’s most famous and most divisive attraction: rooms of naturally mummified bodies exhumed from the local cemetery. Some love the strangeness, plenty leave feeling it is a morbid tourist machine. Skip it without guilt if the concept does not pull you.
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Alhondiga de Granaditas (about an hour). The fortress-like former granary where the first major battle of the independence war played out, now a regional history and art museum. Solid for anyone into Mexican history.
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Museo Casa Diego Rivera (about 45 minutes). The muralist’s birthplace, with early works and changing exhibits upstairs. Low-key and worthwhile for arts and crafts fans, inessential otherwise.
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Templo de la Compania and the Universidad staircase. Worth a look in passing for the church dome and the town’s signature wide stone stairway, both a minute above the Jardin.
Overrated, see it in passing
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Callejon del Beso. The “alley of the kiss” is a two-minute photo stop wrapped in a legend and a small crowd. See it if you walk by; do not plan a morning around it.
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The tunnels as a “sight.” The underground road network is an engineering curiosity you will pass through anyway in a taxi or bus. It is not a destination to seek out on foot, and walking in them is unsafe.
What locals do that visitors miss
Head up to Presa de la Olla, the reservoir and park at the top of the city, on a weekend afternoon. Families walk the water’s edge, rent little rowboats, and eat at the loncherias well away from the center’s crush. It is where residents actually spend a day off, and it gives you a completely different, unhurried read on the city. More of that in where locals go.
How to sequence a day
Do the climbing and the funicular in the cool of the morning, save the museums and the market for the heat of the afternoon, and hold the callejoneada and slow plaza life for the evening. Guanajuato rewards a loose plan; leave gaps for getting lost, because that is when the best of it happens.